The Local Face of SIDS

With boxes of red noses, pens, car stickers and other red accessories for Red Nose Day making an appearance on shop counters this month all thoughts turn to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and how devastating it would be to have this happen within your own family. Now let’s be honest....these thoughts linger long enough for us to count our blessings, buy a red nose for a cheeky picture with the kids and then we may or may not make a separate donation, either way we have moved on and forgotten about this by the end of June until the following year.

But what about those people who don’t get to move on from this, for whom SIDS is an everyday part of their lives? This month we bring you the real face of SIDS, the local face, we bring you the life of little Lilli who was only a presence on this earth for 5 months though her memory lives on in her courageous family and friends who tirelessly work to bring more awareness to the this fantastic cause, so please read on and keep in mind that every donation counts, no matter the amount.
 

Racheal’s Pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant with Lilli in October 2007. I woke up one morning and instantly knew I was pregnant. I wasn't due for another week, so it was very strange. Off to Coles I went, got a test, BFP. Went to the doctor, another BFP. I was 3 weeks pregnant, and due 1st July 2008.

I was heading off for four weeks work in Bathurst two weeks later; I had an ultrasound just before I left. Though whilst in Bathurst, my doctor rang me and hurried me back in for another one just to make sure everything was ok. My heart sank, I thought something was wrong. But after another ultrasound, everything was fine.

I had no morning sickness, which was great and I craved tomato's, with salt -mmmmmm. I popped out straight away with Lilli so by 10wks I looked pregnant. Though, once again, my belly stopped growing, and typically the midwives worried.

At 19 weeks, we had another ultrasound. There she was, my little Lilli, already so full of beans in my belly. They then discovered that I had a low lying
placenta, but thankfully it moved.

Then, at 23 weeks, I was at Uni on a Friday morning. I didn't feel right, but still went. Sitting in class I had the urge to vomit, so I ran out of class and spent the next hour in the toilet. The doctor at the Uni said I was fine and just had a bug. So I went home, where I continued to be sick, the next morning Nath begged me to ring the hospital so off we went. They put a drip into me, as I was dehydrated. After 3 days and 10 drips, I finally got to eat. But nothing would stay down so I ended up in there for over a week, it turned out I had a cyst that had burst and was making me sick. But thankfully Lilli was fine.

I think it was around the 26 week mark when my contractions started but thankfully the hospital stopped them. But they kept coming every day, even stronger and by the time I was 30 weeks, I was put on bed rest, where I was not to do anything. Though even whilst on bed rest, I was still having contractions.

Then at 34 weeks, I started to bleed. I was so scared. They said it was ok, actually just part of my plug. But this happened again at 35 & 36 weeks. I was over it! Though by the time I was 36 weeks I was already 3cm dilated, so happy in a way. Then on Friday the 13th June, I woke to a big bleed. I rang Nath as he had already left for work. So back to the hospital, again where they said I was in the early stages of labour. After a few hrs in the hospital, we went home and waited. By Saturday morning I couldn’t move, Lilli was sitting so low. I couldn’t lift my legs up at all; Nath got the job of getting me in and out of our bath, poor guy.

Nath decided that he was going to have a few drinks, I said, “but darl, what happens if I go into proper labour”. His reply was, “well Ethan was born whilst I was hung over, so only makes sense”.

At 8.30pm on Saturday 14th, my contractions became regular, but nothing too bad. Though by midnight I had enough. I decided to have a shower, which helped. I then went and lay back down, and watched a movie, whilst my drunken husband snored the house down.

2am hit, and I had enough. I woke Nath up, dropped Ethan over at my mothers and went back to my 2nd home, the hospital. We got there around 3-4am. At 7am they finally did an internal, though I wasn't in much pain, but they wanted check. I was only 4cm dilated. AHHHHHH, I honestly thought I would be more. So back in the big bath I went. By 9am I was in pain, so had a shot of pethadine, and got back in the bath. I knew Lilli was coming soon, so the midwife got me to check my own dilation, this I must say was amazing. Then at 11am I got out of the bath to start pushing. Lilli's waters still hadn't broken, it was only 10 minutes into the pushing that they finally broke, that was ewwww.

Finally on Sunday 15th June @ 11.29am, Lilli was born. Though we were waiting on her first cry, and nothing. Next thing I knew the midwife pushed the emergency button and all these people came rushing in. My little girl was not breathing as she had the cord wrapped around her neck. It seemed so long till I finally heard her cry, but she did. Lilli was a bugger, she was born with her left hand against her face, they say she pulled the cord down whilst I was pushing - silly girl. I think 2 hrs passed before we weighed her, a healthy 6pds 11oz, 48cm long.

Then we had the job of naming her, Nath wanting Isabella, me Annelise, but we both had to agree, she was a Lilli.

To those who don't realise how bizarre this birth is:

Ethan, Sunday 7th November, 11.19am, 6pds 11oz, 48cm, 37wks gestation
Lilli, Sunday 15th June, 11.29am, 6pds 11oz, 48cm, 37+4 wks gestation


Yes they were like peas in a pod. I honestly think Lilli was meant to be Ethan’s twin; she was just a little late that’s all.

Lilli’s 5 months

On the 18th June, 2008, Lilli came home from John Hunter Hospital. From the 1st moment Ethan laid eyes on Lilli, he wouldn’t leave her alone. He constantly tried to help me give her a bath, change her nappy etc. He even decided that because Lilli was wrapped, he had to wrap his teddy – Basil, just like Lilli. Though he didn’t quite understand why I could get milk and when he put basil on his chest, there was no milk for his teddy.

Lilli had a few issues when she was born; in the 1st week we went through a whole 108 box of nappies. The midwives said it was just my milk, it came in too fast, but after 4 weeks, I knew that Lilli, just like Ethan, was lactose intolerant. So at 4 weeks I stopped breast feeding, and onto bottles Miss Lilli went.
.
At 8 weeks Lilli decided she was a big girl and began sleeping through the night. The first time she did it, oh my, my heart raced so fast when I realised the time! But she was fine, just snoozing.

In October Lilli got to go to her first birthday party, which was little man Isaac’s 1st birthday. All though she slept most of the time, she still really did enjoy it.
It was around October when Lilli also started teething. They really gave her hell. Up down, up down. Never cut through, but they were so close.

Lilli also started solids in October. She gobbled them up, never spat them out. She was a fan of avocado, pears, pumpkin, potato, apple, chicken, corn, plus the good old farex.
It was a big month in October, as Lilli also started her swimming lessons with Miss Jada.
Lilli weighed in at 5.6kg at 4mths or 12lbs 8oz.

November came and it was Ethan’s 4th birthday down at Valentine Park. Lilli decided she didn’t want to sleep too much that day, though she did have a little nap in the shade under a tree. She was having too much fun with everyone else I think.

15th November, Lilli is 5mths old today. YAY, my little girl was growing up.

16th November was mummy’s group Xmas party. Lilli got a little “my first Christmas” bear, which she decided was nice to chew on all day.

18th November, Lilli weighed in at 6kg or 13lbs 6oz. Lilli was a mover by now. She could get from one end of the kitchen to the other just be rolling. She also discovered how to get out of her rocker!! She would wriggle all the way down, then roll herself over onto her belly, then wriggle out so her feet were on the ground.

20th November, Lilli and I stayed at home all day. Ethan went to day care, like any normal Thursday. Lilli was in a pretty good mood all day. Around 4pm, Lilli was grizzly. I put her down. But she wouldn’t settle. She just cried and cried and cried. So I got her up again, gave her another bath, as it always calm her down. Around 6.30pm Lilli went to bed again, but still she wouldn’t settle. She screamed the house down before she finally went off. At 7.30pm, she had a little spew, out of the side of her cot. At 9.30pm, I went to check on her. This was the last time I held my precious baby girl alive and breathing.

 

That Awful Morning

People say a mother’s intuition is the best form of prevention there is, I agree with this, but I was silly not to recognise it.

From the time I put Lilli to bed on Thursday 20th November, she just wouldn’t settle. I then stayed awake watching TV for a bit, watching a silly Law and Order show on how a mother used SIDS as an excuse to kill her babies. Was this not a warning that I stupidly neglected??

I woke almost every hour to 2 hours that night. I would look over to Lilli’s monitor and see the lights, so I was content. Lilli awoke again at around 3.30am Friday morning. Though she soon went back to sleep. She would do that a lot.

I got up around 5.30 – 6am on that Friday morning. Lilli was still sleeping, so I thought, so I went out to do some stuff on an assignment for Uni. It was around 6.30am I decided to check Lilli, I’m not sure why I did, I just did.

As I opened her door it hit me. Lilli was face down in her cot, with nothing on her. I screamed her name and picked her up. She was so lifeless. I ran for the phone and dialed 000. However I was put on hold whilst the operator tried to find someone to take my call. I ran outside, with Lilli in my arms and still on the phone, trying to get my neighbours to help me. They didn’t answer. The old lady from across the road came outside as I was screaming for someone to help me. I asked her to watch my son as I raced Lilli to the hospital. I jumped in my car with Lilli in one arm and drove like an idiot to the hospital. I was trying to breath into her mouth whilst driving.
When I got to the hospital they raced me in and Lilli was taken off me. She was put in a bed, where I was asked a load of questions. Next thing she was getting a needle in her leg and I was told to wait outside.

The hospital then rang my husband and asked if he could please come to Belmont hospital. He arrived only 20 minutes later. Then maybe 10 minutes later the doctor pulled us aside and told us Lilli was not responding, they had done all they could.

I then got to hold Lilli, wrapped in a blanket. She honestly looked like she was sleeping, except she had a big dint in the top of head, they say this is due to death.

How I wish I had stayed awake from 3.30, I know she was alive then. But I suppose I will never know.

SIDS & Kids

It’s impossible not to be affected by this brave mum’s account of Lilli’s life, if you want to know more about SIDS and how to prevent this from happening again then please follow the links below, although there is no known 100% way to keep your baby safe, knowledge is our best weapon against this heartbreaking syndrome. If you want to be part of what Racheal and so many others are campaigning for, the understanding and prevention of sudden Infant Death Syndrome, then donate now.

SIDS and Kids is a registered charity that provides bereavement counselling and support to families who experience the death of a baby or young child during pregnancy, birth, infancy and childhood. This includes miscarriage, stillbirth, deaths due to prematurity, fast onset illness such as pneumonia or meningococcal, SIDS, Fatal sleeping accidents e.g. asphyxia and accidents.

At present, over 95% of the families it currently supports have experiences an unexpected stillbirth. There are around 740 babies stillborn across NSW and ACT every year and more than 21,500 miscarriages - that is over two miscarriages every hour every day. SIDS and Kids provided support and counselling to over 100 families last year right here in the Hunter Region.

Since the introduction of the Safe Sleeping campaign in the early 1990's the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome has dramatically reduced by over 85%. This is due to the promotion of Safe Sleeping messages delivered to new parents and the health professionals caring for them.

These messages are based on scientific evidence to reduce the incidence of SIDS and fatal sleep accidents. Whilst the incidence of SIDS has reduced, there are still too many babies dying in unsafe sleeping environments. It is important that:

1. Sleep baby on the back to sleep from birth

2. Keep baby's head uncovered during sleep

3. Keep baby in a smoke-free environment before and after birth

4. Provide a safe sleeping environment (safe cot, safe mattress, safe bedding)

5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping environment next to the parent’s bed for the first six to twelve months of life.

Important SIDS links:

http://www.bubsabouttown.com.au/sidsandkids.html
www.sidsandkids.org.au
http://www.abc.net.au/health/library/stories/2003/05/29/1831797.htm
http://www.sidsandkids.org/offices/hunter-region/
http://www.sidsandkids.org/offices/hunter-region/education/
http://www.sidsandkids.org/safe-sleeping/