bubs about town - Diaries
 

Everybody has a story to tell. From every story we can laugh, cry, empathise, sympathise and even learn something. These pages are about some of our members sharing their journey's of impending parenthood for the first, second or even third times. How they cope with the emotions, the practicalities, the appointments and the other children. We hope you enjoy reading them, and sharing with them the highs and lows of pregnancy and family life. If you would like to become a diarist or share you thoughts with us please email us at info@bubsabouttown.com.au

 

Second time round
 

Meet our new Second Time Round Diarist Sophie and her husband who already have Charlotte who turns two on the same day Baby number 2 is due. Sophie is 28 years old, and Ben is 32. Sophie is trying desperately to finish a never-ending PhD, whilst Ben is a designer for a mining company. 


Week 36

Well, 36.5 weeks now. Although am still telling people that I have a month to go, which makes me feel better about many things, chiefly my lack of organisation in regards to our impending new family member. I haven’t even purchased any newborn nappies or packed a hospital bag or labour essentials. I haven’t even set up the baby bassinette.

The other day as I was evaluating my naked self in front of the bathroom mirror, I made a shocking discovery: the stretch marks that I gained during my first pregnancy appear to be lengthening and widening. Knowing as you guys do about my struggle with how my body has changed with pregnancy, you will understand that I found this quite distressing (not distressing enough to keep me away from two cheeseburgers on Friday- had them all the time when pregnant with my daughter but had managed to refrain thus far). These stretch marks I feel must be fairly extraordinary. They are all over the front of my stomach, on either side of my belly button (or where my belly button used to be. I don’t actually get a cute poppy-out button, just an ugly flattened one that is level with my skin at the moment but I know that as soon as I give birth will sink back into all the excess skin, forming a deep cavern that is scary to children). Anyway the main reason I know that my stretch marks are already extraordinary is because a number of health professionals have commented on them - I mean my obstetrician and midwives I had during my first pregnancy. Charming little comments such as ‘oooh, you wouldn’t want any more stretch marks would you?’, and ‘wow, you’ve got some stretch marks there girl’. These same health professionals see tens of pregnant ladies every day. If they are feeling the need to comment on the marks, they must be right up there on the Richter scale of stretch marks. Anyway, my doctor reassures me that they probably won’t get any bigger now. Thanks for bringing them up again, buddy.

Finally got Charlotte into her bed, and so far so good. Taking a bit longer to go to sleep- mainly because she can escape from the bed and come and see what we are up to- but sleeping through! So hopefully she is used to it in no time and won’t blame the baby for her displacement, and develop associated mental health issues. This is a lovely time of year for her- the two-year-old parties are in full swing! She has never had so much junk food in her life- especially because, horrible mother that I am, I have largely denied her access to same so far. She spends most of the duration of the party with her hands in the chip bowl, unlike the other toddlers who are gleefully running around elsewhere. Oh, she takes after me!

Have got our house on the market this week. Why we decided to do it all of a sudden is beyond me- I don’t need any more pressure right now! However house is nearly tidied for the photographer on Tuesday. Just have to squeeze some more junk under the beds where people hopefully won’t see it. If anyone is going to any open inspections soon, please do me a favour and don’t look under the beds. Where I am lacking is work at the moment- I have sadly (actually, joyfully) neglected it all weekend. Have decided to finish up at 38 weeks- so in two weeks time- upon informing a friend at work, she gleefully shared with me the story of being 37 weeks pregnant with her #2 and finishing at 5pm feeling unwell, before going into established labour at 6pm and having her baby by midnight. Please, please don’t let this happen to me this week. The baby has no nappies.

Week 35

Just for something different, I thought I would share a typical morning this week getting ready for work. Today, for example, began at 5am when Charlotte woke crying. She has had a slight cough for a couple of days which seems to wake her around this time. Managed to convince her to go back to sleep after a fantastic early morning rendition of ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star’. At 6am she was ready again. This time I put her into our bed and she went back to sleep for another hour quite easily. I am a bit worried about doing this as I don’t want her to think she has open access to our bed, although I do love the cuddles and the extra sleep! I think if I weren’t 8 months pregnant I would have just got up at 6am but right now I can’t face it. At around 7, as we were up and having breakfast, my husband left to go to work. Lucky for him he always misses any morning dramas. Before he went he put on an extremely irritating DVD for Charlotte at her request. I am not keen on her watching television all the time but again at 8 months pregnant, a) I have no energy to argue, and b) have no energy to keep her distracted in other ways whilst I make her lunch etc. Had own breakfast while she watched and then popped our dinner in the slow cooker. The slow cooker is incredibly convenient, but it does take up an extra half hour in the morning- my fault though for not being fabulously organised last night and having everything browned and ready to go. Nevertheless, by 7:50am had Charlotte dressed and ready to go, and just had to get myself dressed before we could leave. Glanced into her daycare bag at this point and realised that I hadn’t packed her any lunch. This is something I have never yet forgotten to do, but once again I am 8 months pregnant. As the DVD was off now, she sought other sources of amusement whilst I was tied to the kitchen bench, packing creative yet nutritious snacks and sandwiches for her. During this time, she noisily emptied the drawer where I keep the baking trays, got into the Tupperware cupboard, and pinched a bottle of fish sauce from the fridge. I only found out about this last little transgression because she brought the bottle back over to me, open, and told me it was a ‘yucky bottle’. Turned out she had taken it over to the tv cabinet to sample it, and the cabinet and her were both lightly coated in fish sauce. I didn’t change her clothes after this either- again, am 8 months pregnant. Gosh, what a bad mother! Not that it was on her clothes. It was on her hands, mostly, and it had really seeped in. Wiped her down as best I could but I fear that today at daycare Charlotte is going to be the smelly kid, which I never would have wanted for her. Finally got myself dressed, putting on a pair of unironed jeans I dragged from the washing basket which I then discovered were still noticeably damp around the butt. I wore them anyway. Finally arrived at work at 9:20am- much later than usual and how on earth am I ever going to do it with more than one child down the track?!!

Have started nesting, although because I believe I am lazy at heart my nesting takes the form of chucking out extraneous junk, rather than neatly organising my Tupperware cupboard. This causes tension between my husband and I because he is at heart, a hoarder. He gets this from his dad, who actually has sheds full of junk that I shudder to think about. Luckily they live on a property large enough for him to build a new shed each time he fills up the old one. All that we have in our suburban backyard is an elderly single garage. As it was the council cleanup this week, I decided we should chuck as much stuff as possible. I pointed out many items that should go, and my husband vetoed many of them. I did manage to get him to part with a 20-year-old sega game thing from his childhood, which plugged into the tv and which has come with us to three different houses without being touched. He drew the line at a mouldy old suitcase that I thought should go- we have about 50 suitcases that his mum keeps giving us for reasons I cannot understand. So I let him have that one. It always feels so nice getting rid of junk.

Getting very large in the stomach now, and everywhere else. Up to 83kg now- reached 85 with Charlotte- so I haven’t done very well not putting on the same amount of weight. Most things about this pregnancy have been identical to my first, actually. Last week, the doctor told me that the head was well down- something I didn’t really need him to tell me, since I can often feel that same head bouncing around on my cervix where it has no right to bounce. Don’t recall this happening the first time- again, must be due to my clapped-out muscle tone around there. All is still well baby-wise, and it has already been a whole month since that first major bleed. He is away this week so no new scan photos, which is a shame! Have to keep an eye on baby’s movements from now on, in case the placenta does decide to pack it in.

Managed to get out all the neutral tiny baby clothes and wash them- they still smelled like milky new baby from when my daughter was wearing them. Haven’t gone all out with the boy stuff yet- I am still not convinced it is a boy (and neither was the sonographer, actually- baby had legs crossed or some such) and I actually prefer this slight element of surprise. Although I am sure that it is 70-80% likely to be a boy, the scientist in me doesn’t like those odds for certainty.

Work is mental- unsure what I am still doing here four days a week. Sometimes I take the lift instead of the stairs. The work isn’t too hard, but I am very easily distracted at the moment. This week my main concerns have been i) returning to work, and ii) Charlotte’s birthday. I think I mentioned in an early article that my contract runs out in late August, so I don’t actually have anything to come back to next year. Plus I think I want a career change. Regarding Charlotte’s birthday, I have decided to have a small party at home about ten days before I am due. Unsure if this is a risky move or not, but I am sure I can pull it off ok!


Week 34

How did I get to 34 weeks? It starts getting serious from here- there is going to be a baby!

Not much to report again pregnancy-wise. Still some slight bleeding going on- nearly up to three weeks of bleeding now- but apparently this is nothing to worry about. The doctor has decided it is an edge bleed from my placenta. Hopefully no more comes away. Still having weekly scans to have the baby’s growth rate checked- if the growth slows or stops, then we know that the placenta isn’t doing what it is supposed to and providing baby with enough nutrients. I am feeling fine though, and went back to work this week. One nice thing about all these scans is having some lovely photos of our baby’s face each week. Although largely cute, it still looks all lumpy on the ultrasound. The doctor says the baby looks like me. I am unsure that this is very flattering given the funny looking appearance of my baby in the photos. Oh dear, that’s not very maternal of me now is it?

I have been trying not to stack on the weight this pregnancy like I did with my first, and had been successful until the last few weeks. My little episode caused so many people to give me chocolate as a gift. Have finally eaten it all- I like to try and eat it in huge volumes over a short period because I feel that it won’t stick to my thighs as much as if I spread the chocolate eating over a period of weeks- and it showed at my appointment this week where I was weighed. So much for my theory. Although imagine how much more I would have gained if I had eaten it slowly and allowed it all to adhere to my butt! Anyway still not up to the gigantor proportions of my first baby- indeed I still have only one chin- but definitely put on many a kilo during the weeks of bed rest and chocolate.

Trying to get Charlotte’s new bedroom set up- such a slow process. I am sure that all the books about raising healthy and well-adjusted children recommend having your toddler in their new room about two years before the new baby arrives, so that they don’t blame the upheaval on the new arrival and subsequently develop psychopathic tendencies, which manifest in simply shocking ways during the teenage years. At least we have the furniture set up. Am just waiting on some bed linen to arrive to put on the bed- have been doing all my shopping via internet lately as it is just too difficult fitting shopping in between working and parenting. Charlotte has recently started telling us (and everyone else she comes into contact with) to go away (“go ‘way”) if we say or do anything that even slightly upsets her delicate nature. She is such a cheeky little button. Have tried many tricks to deter this behaviour but it isn’t going anywhere. Robin Barker, lovely sensible lady that she is, says that toddler negativity is perfectly normal and diminishes in intensity around age three. This means only one year to go for us!

Week 33

After all the drama of last week, this week...nothing much! There were a few small breakthrough bleeds but nothing very serious. However after three sets of them I did call the midwives yesterday but felt a bit stupid doing so as I didn’t think anything major was wrong, but am always concerned by the appearance of any fresh blood. Have been really noticing the Braxton Hicks contractions now- saw one on the CTG trace. It all reminded me of the labour and how soon that will all be happening again! Have been largely ignoring it until now but recent events have forced me to remember. Must wear my labour outfit this time- bought a special shirt last time which my mum teased me mercilessly about saying I would probably be nude. Actually was determined not to be nude and to maintain a semblance of dignity and wore a hospital gown. Didn’t stop me from being undignified at times though! Anyway she has remembered about my labour outfit and asked me if I was planning on wearing it this time.

Charlotte is growing up so fast and seems to have reached a new level of maturity over the last week- which is lovely! Have heard they grow up a lot around two and was waiting for that - hoping she would manage that step before the new baby arrives and it looks like she has done it!

My husband has been an excellent angel the last few days, helping out at home. I was doing too much running around and somehow he found time every day to spend ages lying on the couch was never sure how to broach that subject though! The whole bleeding incident really stressed him which is why he is helping so much - hopefully this new behaviour continues forever now!

Not much else to report - should go and continue resting - although I am not handling the resting all that well and considering popping back into work tomorrow for a few hours - was so close to finishing up some things before my contract is up in August! Hope all is well with everyone.


Week 31/32

Last Monday morning I coughed in bed and thought I may have wet myself a little (those who have been reading this will know about my struggles with wee this pregnancy!). When I got up a little later, turns out it wasn’t wee but a rather large amount of bright blood running everywhere. Have never seen anything like it! Since then I have spent four days in hospital plus one return visit to deal with a bit more bleeding. They aren’t sure what is causing it at this stage, but apparently it means I may go into labour early so I am currently getting around with my right buttock full of steroids, in order to develop the baby’s lungs in case he arrives early.

It all seems very surreal, but I am not as worried as I thought I would be in this situation- baby still moving all the time and I feel fine, plus everything is still tightly closed with no signs of labour. I know this due to the large number of speculum exams I have had during the week- goodness this pregnancy business is a pleasant time! At least my doctor is kind enough to warm it up for me, got to be thankful for small mercies at this time. I had an issue yesterday when they left me alone on the monitor with no pants on, and was suddenly desperate for a wee, not a good situation to be in and I had to call the nurse in to let me off. Luckily she let my put pants back on before trekking into the bathroom. Have been trying to maintain some dignity, including keeping shoes on during internals although some of the nurses aren’t keen on this habit of mine and take them away from me anyway. I just like to feel a little bit dressed. So I will keep you posted on what happens. Sometimes this can happen as a one-off, although it isn’t looking ideal here due to the continuation of bright bleeding later in the week.

Charlotte has been in a funny mood with me in and out of home. Her big girl bed came last week though - must clean out her new bedroom and set it up because she keeps asking for it - one night waking at midnight crying and asking if she could go into her new bed. Goodness child, did you have to wake me for that?

Hope all is well with everyone and will be back in touch soon!

Week 30

Sick of carting around an empty, but rinsed-so-still-wet-inside wee jar with me everywhere I go. It actually rolled out of my handbag across the table at a work function recently, where an unsuspecting childless male colleague picked it up and examined it, before someone informed him what it was and he dropped it in horror. Then someone else felt the need to announce that my wee jar had just fallen out of my bag and rolled across the table, just so the people that didn’t actually see it happen knew what was going on. Oh how can I go on?

I’m getting very uncomfortable awake all night with the baby kicking. Squirmed my way through the Sex and the City movie last night. I probably drove my accompanying friend crazy, but she is too kind to mention it. Actually felt that the movie wasn’t worth going to- I shouldn’t waste these precious movie trips on substandard films. What was the movie actually about anyway? Maybe I am being too harsh- a lot of the time I was concentrating on finding the best possible position for the baby and I to co-exist harmoniously, which probably meant I missed a bit of the movie.

Another friend had a little boy today! Actually he was a big boy at 4.5kg. Everyone is having boys this year so far. I don’t think I had many friends with children prior to having Charlotte, but suddenly I have many lovely ones!

Survived my visit with MIL last week! Always stressful, and I don’t know why because she does have good intentions. However she did roll her eyes when I refused her request to come up when the baby is due and wait for it, since she doesn’t want to miss Charlotte’s birthday (upon which the new baby is due). It was awkward for everyone when I said no thanks as gently as I could- I am not keen on having my husband’s entire family here if I go into labour on my own this time. Nor do I want them in the hospital waiting room. It was bad enough last time having them constantly call my husband towards the end of the labour to see what was happening - eventually I asked him in a less-than-polite fashion to please turn his phone off. My husband is just too polite to everyone, including his family. This is a lovely trait in a person but does lead to a lack of boundaries at times. My mum is coming back down here then to look after Charlotte while we wait and it will be bad enough having her here! I must be very private or something, but I just don’t care to share the birthing with the whole world. Have to admit that last weekend her and my mother were very helpful organising some things for us to pop into storage to make room for another person to come and live here soon!

Week 29

For inexplicable reasons I have been waking at night - usually for a wee - and then unable to get back to sleep again. I can recall this happening with #1 but it was ok then. Being unencumbered with a toddler, it was quite nice getting up at 2am to watch some strange early-morning television with my bump. But now, knowing that I will have to be up around 6am to be on duty, there is nothing pleasant about it! Last night was a particularly bad example, waking at 3:45am for obligatory bathroom visit and then remaining awake until about 5:30, shifting positions every quarter hour to decide if that was my problem. Ordinarily I would have got up and read a book to lull myself back to sleep, however my mother-in-law is here visiting (yes, that time has arrived!) and with our house being what it is, any move I made would have woken her. So today I am entirely stuffed and unable to deal with people.

I saw the obstetrician again today, for the first time in five weeks - this sort of gap between visits would never have occurred with baby 1, but our schedules this time just weren’t suited till today. Anyway all is well we think! The doctor is quite interested in the work I do, but I am more interested in what he does - maybe we could swap careers? Actually I am in the throes of a career crisis and considering resolving it with more study, but who knows how we can afford this with soon-to-be two kids needing daycare! I think having children has made me more patient in that regard - I am happy for my career to take longer, as long as I eventually end up where I want to be.

Charlotte is at a lovely age - wondering if this will change with the new arrival? She has developed a penchant for sighing heavily when conditions don’t suit her - for example, when offered some fruit as opposed to a biscuit (‘bocky’). She adopts this heavy air as though the weight of the world is on her shoulders and what we are offering to her is entirely unsuitable for a child of her standing.

My mum is here too this weekend, so we will hopefully get some cleaning and sorting done! Although I am far too tired at the moment to even contemplate something so physical. We have decided to give it another fortnight to find a new home, otherwise we will re-organise this one and start looking again post-bambino.

#2 is hiccupping an awful lot, and is generally more active than my daughter was. This baby is constantly awake! What does this mean for me sleep-wise in the coming months? Charlotte was a difficult baby to settle during the day, and the night waking for her continued until after 1. The sleeping and settling phenomenon fascinates me. Why are we having so much trouble with it? I was discussing this with a friend of mine recently and she thinks we don’t get enough information about it in the hospital. They are always asking when the baby last had a feed, but not a sleep. I am unsure about how we approach it - are we expecting babies not to interrupt our lives at all by requiring regimented sleeping from an early age? I don’t think this is what I wanted, and looking back it really wasn’t so bad, but I did spend many hours over the cot patting her to sleep. In the end, what worked for me was breastfeeding her to sleep in the daytime, and feeding her when she woke at night, and then slowly starting to drop this around 9 months before addressing the night waking at 12 months. This just felt so natural to me and was the quickest way to get her to sleep when she was too little to understand what I wanted her to do. However I hardly mentioned my methods to anyone, because I think feeding to sleep is frowned upon. I will probably do the same again with baby 2, because it feels so natural to me - if that’s what helps them to sleep, that is what I will do. And our daughter is now a perfect sleeper (touch wood as I type that!) with no cavities. This won’t be right for everyone but is a method nobody ever suggested to me- it was all about creating a sleep routine (including an embarrassing song) and trying to get my tiny baby to go to sleep all on her own in a cot.

This time with #1 we were heading to our antenatal classes - every Wednesday evening for a month. Seems sad not to engage in these activities again for this pregnancy. Especially because I didn’t get a good group! I was really hoping for a lovely group of women similar to myself in ideas and opinions who could get together each fortnight for coffee and not entirely baby-based conversation whilst our perfectly charming offspring rolled quietly together on the floor. I did get one dear friend out of it though, and perhaps this is a better thing.

Had something else to say, which may have been mildly amusing, but have forgotten entirely and this is probably due to last night’s shenanigans (oh how that term used to apply to going out dancing! and oh how sadly it has changed for me!) so am going to sign off now. Do let me know of any homes you may know of selling over the next two weeks! The housing situation is freaking me out.

Week 27

I’m really starting to feel the strain on my body this week and I think I am having occasional Braxton-Hicks contractions (although I am no expert - didn’t notice them last time - apparently when they were happening I thought it was the baby moving - perhaps I lack some vital maternal gene?) and my stomach skin is stretched so tightly I just can’t see how it will stretch any further, despite having three months of full-on stretching to go. I am considering dropping a day at work (once I get a few more things done....!).

Charlotte has been just gorgeous lately, which is making me feel so positive about the whole parenting experience. This evening she gave the new bubba a hug and a kiss of her own accord, and said hello to him through the ‘tummy telephone’. She was still pretty quick to say bye-bye though, and pull my shirt back down over the top of him.

I loved seeing the newborn belonging to my lovely friend over the road this week - he is just gorgeous - so we are looking forward to our own little one arriving even more! I actually made some preparations toward his arrival the other day, making up a list of names that I like. Although now the list appears to be missing. By this stage, for Charlotte, we had had endless name discussions and a shortlist typed and saved ready to go. This second child thing really is a whole different experience! The name this time is causing some dilemmas- since we know it will be a boy, my husband wants to name him after his dad. For some reason this didn’t come up last time. I am resistant to that idea, for many reasons, but especially because the baby will already have their surname. Is that not enough? Or am I unreasonable? My father-in-law seems to expect that the baby be named after him, slipping into conversations whenever he can-‘If it’s a boy it has to be a little [insert his name here]!’ I think the feminist part of me arcs up at this, plus the fact that it leaves my family out entirely. If FIL wants something to have his name, perhaps he could get a puppy?

The karaoke night last weekend was a resounding success - until 9:30pm, as predicted. We just went to a small club, and it seemed that Friday night karaoke is a big deal there - everybody knew each other. It was like crashing someone’s private party, although they all seemed very pleased to see us. My squashed up, pregnant lungs just didn’t have the space to bang out anything major, so I don’t think I was at my best. Luckily everyone else was really getting amongst the alcoholic beverages (one lady explaining to us that they know what she drinks and consistently have it ready for her, since she is there every Friday night with the rest of the gang) so they didn’t notice. It was really lovely having a girlie night though, despite still feeling hungover the next day from all the nocturnal activities. So many aspects of pregnancy are similar to being hungover- feeling drained and nauseous- but with none of the fun of the night before!

Week 26

Having some serious spreading issues this week! At Harris Farm the other day managed to sweep a display of pretzels from their stand with my magnificent buttocks. Then had to scramble about on the floor picking them up whilst my daughter looked on from the trolley and laughed hysterically. Hopefully nobody noticed. If you were there and saw me doing all this, please be kind and not alert me to the fact. But seriously, when will this expansion end? I can’t continue getting fatter forever surely? With my first pregnancy, I denied myself nothing and stacked on 20kg as a result. This time I am determined not to do the same- and so far so good, as with a 21-month-old toddler running around the self-denial stakes are a lot higher- although admittedly this time I did have a much higher starting weight. However, although the kilos are not shooting up the scale as dramatically this time there is still some serious spreading going on. This is one of the hardest aspects of pregnancy for me to deal with. I don’t consider myself vain (you should see me schlepping out of the house on weekends, or weekdays come to think of it, with bits of toddler breakfast adorning my person), but I still struggle with not being as attractive as I used to be. Not just due to physical changes, but also the social changes that occur once you become a mother. One of the younger guys at work tried to start calling me ‘Mum’ a few months ago. Luckily this didn’t take off as a nickname. Is it strange that I still want to be a little bit sexy? The thing is, I have trouble transferring these same feelings to my own mother- I am not at all keen on her traipsing round looking hot. But it would be fine for me, obviously. She must have had similar feelings after having her own children though. And then, how will my daughter feel about all this? If she thinks of me the way I thought of my own mother she won’t be up for a hot mummy at all. Argh who would be a parent?!! It isn’t that I am up for having an affair or anything (I honestly wouldn’t be able to fit an affair into my schedule at the moment anyway, plus pretty soon my vagina will be off-limits to everybody), I think I just miss my old, taut self at times.

A lovely friend of mine had a gorgeous new baby this week- he arrived very quickly I believe as she texted me the night before saying nothing was happening, and then we had a text around 7am the next morning saying they had had him an hour before! My friends having their beautiful babies makes my own experience a bit more real- our little baby will be here soon too! I would have to describe my attitude at the moment as excited, although largely unprepared, with a small amount of horror thrown in- this time, knowing what I am in for with a new baby, have decided I much preferred the naivety of the first pregnancy!

Attempting to pop out this evening with some girlfriends for a little karaoke action- is this a tacky activity for a pregnant woman? Will I be looked down upon? I won’t be drinking or anything. Just a little bit of singing to amuse those who are drinking. Maybe if I wear a loose top I can get away with looking not-so-pregnant and it might be more ok for me to be there? It was a spur-of-the-moment decision based on an invite from another lovely friend yesterday. Back in my youth I was a bit of a karaoke addict (oh, the more you people get to know about me the daggier I am going to sound!). My best number was the Divinyls “I touch myself” complete with actions. Pretty sure if I want to maintain some semblance of class I will have to pick a new number to do tonight. Have offered to drive the single girlfriends- I feel as though someone should benefit from my condition- and we will probably be home by 9:30pm. I will let you know how it went next week!

Week 25

Another week down!

I hope everyone has had a lovely Mother’s Day. Mine has been lovely, especially compared to last year when we were stuck at Melbourne airport for eight hours with an 8-month-old baby and no pram due to having checked it in. My husband ended up in a terrible mood, when I felt it was my right to be the cranky one considering what day it was. However he beat me to it and I feel that only one of us can be cranky at a time when there is nowhere to escape to! That was a shame as it was my first mother’s day but at least it has given me a good story. Actually the story isn’t all that good but you have to look for the positives! Anyway today isn’t over yet and when Charlotte wakes up I am sure it will get even better!

Has been a busy weekend- had some people over Friday for dinner which was exhausting. We used to have friends over all the time for late and boozy affairs but no more! I just prefer to be in bed by about 9:30. Saturday night we had a work party to go to. Perhaps against our better judgement we took Charlotte with us so we had to leave before dessert which was a damn shame. Being unable to drink, dessert is pretty much all I have going for me at the moment. There are two other families there doing the second child thing - one had their new baby there who is eight weeks old, and the other baby is due in a few weeks. Both of these families have about a three-year age gap between their first and second children, which had me thinking about the best time. Obviously too late for me to change our two-year gap, but I feel like we are going to be in for a huge shock. Suppose the shock would come no matter the gap but the three-year-olds there just seemed so much more mature than Charlotte- because, of course, they are! One of the little boys was pretty keen on having Charlotte come and play with him in the playroom- behaviour that we encourage for now but give it another 12 or so years and we won’t be so into the idea.

Charlotte did a bit of night waking this week. I think perhaps because the weather has turned so cold, but it really reminded me of what I am in for. I can’t remember if I have said this before, but I am not so scared of repeating the birth again (as horrific as hers was) as I am about dealing with the sleeping and settling. People assure me I am an expert this time and it will be much better but what kind of expert has performed a procedure only once before? I mean you don’t go to have open heart surgery and have your surgeon say ‘Don’t worry, I’m an expert- this will be the second time I have done this!’ and feel relaxed about the whole thing. She has also been difficult to get to sleep during the day, which isn’t like her at all and terrifies me in case she is doing away with the day sleep. I really enjoy that small amount of quiet time in the middle of the day and I suspect I will need it when #2 comes along.

Haven’t actually made any preparations for the new baby as yet- but how much is there to do? We usually have them in our room in a cradle to start with so won’t need to set up a bedroom at this stage, but I do feel like I should get moving on the whole thing. Unsure when I would actually fit this in though. Do I have to buy anything? I can’t think. Probably some new towels or something would be useful?

At work the other day I was standing beside another girl who is pregnant with her first and due in about 5 weeks time. Our positioning allowed for others to compare us with one another, like prime beef cattle at the Easter show. Unfortunately they came to the conclusion that despite me being two weeks behind her, my bump is a lot lower. Argh! Outsider confirmation that everything is looser this time for me. What will become of me if we have a third? Will the baby hang around my knees next time? I can only imagine that that would be quite uncomfortable and restrict outfit choices no end.

Week 24

Had an appointment at the obstetrician today, he had some trouble finding the baby’s heartbeat because it was moving around all over the place (It certainly is a wriggly one, but isn’t that just one of the most delicious feelings ever? So many people complain during their entire pregnancy, but I just love being pregnant despite the discomforts that sometimes go with it. Hope I don’t become addicted to pregnancy and end up on television in 20 years time, still pregnant and with 20 other kids.). Also, the fundal height was a few centimetres above where it should be around now. Upon seeing the look of sheer panic in my eyes at the thought of having some sort of giant toddler-baby, he was quick to reassure me that it doesn’t mean the baby will be huge. So what exactly does it mean? Anyway, he was extremely unhelpful today. Apparently he can’t slow the pregnancy down to give me a few more months of prep time, and he has no other options to offer besides vagina or caesarean for getting it out. Will do some internet research....am sure Dr. Google has some ideas on the baby coming out quite quickly and easily when I cough or something.

So much of this pregnancy business is undignified. The other morning I had to choose between doing a wee or a vomit first when I got up in the morning. This was a difficult choice, and I went with the wee, but the vomit wouldn’t wait either. I seem to write a lot about wee in these entries, and I do apologise, but it is obviously a concerning issue for me at this time. Trying to devote more time to creating steel-trap like pelvic floor muscles that will stop any rogue wee in its tracks, but with a low-down baby aiming kicks right at my bladder they haven’t been helping much. Now that is a very strange feeling and not something I can remember happening with my daughter. I am blaming it on the looseness of everything this time - like having the baby hang out in a very, very low-slung hammock, instead of the firm, taut Baby Bjorn that my uterus and abdominal muscles were the first time.

Keep reflecting on how much life has changed since having our first child. Caught myself today saying ‘Please don’t eat that cream, it’s for your bottom’ when Charlotte was going for a snack of Bepanthen. This is a sentence I feel no childless person would ever have to utter. Wondering how much life will change again when we have a second. More nervous about the change in family dynamics than the birth- even though that hurt like nothing else, it was only for a day (or two). Suspect adjustment to #2 will take longer than that.
Have been so tired this week- so I did hardly anything at work except pretend to look busy, which I excel at. This was very bad behaviour because I really only have a set number of weeks to get a large amount of work done, and can’t afford to waste one - giving birth really is a bit of a strict deadline. Our baby is due mid-August, but when someone at work asked when the due date was the other day I replied in vague terms, ‘oh, sometime in late August/early September’. My work friend who was part of the conversation looked at me incredulously and told me that lying about the due date isn’t going to give me any extra time before the baby comes. I suppose she is right.

We are also still desperately looking for a new house so we can move in and be settled prior to the big event. What will we do with our Saturdays once we find one though? We do so enjoy rushing out early for the paper and then trawling around half-a-dozen unsatisfactory open homes with an increasingly grumpy toddler in tow.


Week 23

Must have fallen asleep and missed last week!

This week I have some shocking news- whilst laughing hysterically with friends over dinner last weekend, a little bit of wee came out. I am really hoping that this is just a pregnancy-related problem, and not something that will stick around for me afterwards. This is one of the final non-discussed frontiers amongst my friends and I, so I can’t even do a bit of an informal survey to gather some stats. I know that one girl had some sort of operation ‘down there’ after having her twins, but she refuses to share details. This just makes it all the more taboo. As for me, I will wait and see what happens but I have a feeling I am going to get a lot bigger than I am now, which I imagine will put slightly more pressure on my bladder than it is currently experiencing. Maybe I can look into some bladder weights or something to toughen it up. I don’t want to attract any unkind nicknames at work.

I finally managed to recruit my sister for some shopping duties and get some stretch pants- but not before a button popped off my usual pants whilst I was wearing them. In fact, so much pressure had built up behind the button that it popped into another room entirely to the one that I was in. Oh dear. I’m not ready for all this!

We are starting to think about moving our toddler, Charlotte, into a big-girl bed in another room. When will I do this? I am pretty sure that at this stage of pregnancy with her I had all items purchased and room sorted. I am nowhere near being sorted for this baby. This poor child will arrive naked into the world and remain that way, because his mother failed to make time to buy any baby clothes, let alone make him somewhere to sleep. Actually for me the real issue is that we are outgrowing our current house but have been having trouble finding a new one that we both agree on. Can see us remaining in our too-small house for years to come, both of us unwilling to compromise on what we want from our next house (Me: big kitchen, a playroom, some distant, preferably entirely separate accommodation for when the in-laws come to stay. Him: a shed for being a real man in, and a big yard. Why the big yard? He barely goes outside into the big yard we have here. Maybe he just likes to look out at a big yard. Entirely understandable.)

Experiencing what I think are Braxton Hicks contractions too - last time I didn’t notice these, although apparently I was having them. My uterus must be well-trained this time. It is certainly a lot bigger than it was last time, which does suggest that it is extra-toned and muscular...or something.

Started to think about the birth, then decided best not to. There really needs to be an alternative to the baby coming out the vagina or a caesarean. Will ask my obstetrician this week if we can continue the incubation from here in another vessel perhaps; like a glass jar we can crack open when the time is right, or maybe a giant egg.

Week 21

I have definitely started to get some 'pregnancy spread' across my butt this week. I was caught at work with my non-maternity jeans undone - not once but twice! The second time was particularly awkward for me but I think managed to disguise the fact that my fly was wide open by cleverly turning to one side and casually zipping up again. Someone else, upon hearing that I am only halfway pregnant, asked me if it was twins! Had to point out that this time I am, um, pre-stretched for comfort; or having a gigantic baby. Either way probably not ideal for me! This has all proved very embarrassing and means that I am overdue to go shopping for some stretch pants. As anyone with a toddler (and throw four days work into the mix) knows, this is extremely difficult to find time for so I suspect I will be getting around with my pants undone for some days to come. Probably until the end of the pregnancy, actually.

Week 20

If this pregnancy was a folded sheet then this week would be the fold right down the middle of it. It isn’t really like a sheet though, it’s like a pregnancy and this was the week we found out that we are having a little boy! I put the exclamation mark in for the benefit of anyone reading this. Whilst I am excited in theory that we are having a boy, in reality I am slightly disappointed that we found out what we are having. We had a surprise with our daughter, and that was just lovely (although at the time we were so surprised that we had actually had A BABY at all that we forgot to look and had to be prompted to check by nursing staff. Then the little baby bits were so swollen with hormones we weren’t entirely sure that it was a girl and sort of waited to be told to confirm. Her bits are fine now, by the way). It will be great to have a little boy but it is so strange now knowing in advance. Ideally I would have liked to find out and then forget after a few minutes. Usually I am quite good at forgetting vital information, but this time the forgetting eludes me.

Charlotte, meanwhile, is busy pretending to be a little baby again. She wanted to drink from a baby bottle this morning (a skill she never managed to perfect when I was going back to work and desperate for her to take milk from a bottle), and has now on a few occasions wanted to be swaddled in her towel after a bath. I am unsure where to go with these games; will it give her a strange fetish for being treated like a baby when she is older (like those people you occasionally see on SBS documentaries) or is there no harm done? Also, why does she suddenly want to do this? Has she finally realised she will soon be joined by another?

It was Easter this weekend. I hope you all had a happy one. Mine was slightly less than happy. Charlotte is the first grandchild on both sides of our family. I do not recommend this as a course of action to anyone. Please do wait and leave your childbearing until at least one other sibling has borne children before you. What this means for us is that both sets of parents, who live some distance away, come bearing down upon us at holiday time, along with gifts of creepy electronic rabbits singing country tunes (unsure about this music choice in an Easter toy. Is it because there are no Easter carols? Why pick country songs though? Why?). The whole thing translates into a full-on experience for us and for Charlotte. I spent most of the weekend cooking meals for 12 persons. Although overall we did have a lovely(ish) time, they are all gone now and I am giving silent thanks. Maybe the craziness of the weekend is what has sent Charlotte into her baby behaviour? The in-laws (outlaws?) also make me want to hide under a blanket.



Week 19

Although it feels a bit daggy introducing myself to my word document here, you out there reading this (if there are any of you who can put up with my pregnancy-muddled musings) may feel a bit better if I do so. My name is Sophie, I am 28 years old, and my husband is 32. I am trying desperately to finish a never-ending PhD, whilst he is a designer for a mining company. We had our first baby in August 2008 and must have liked it so much that we are now going in for round 2.

This baby came as a bit of a surprise. When I came into our office and asked my husband to ‘pick a hand’, he was expecting me to give him an ice cream, not a pregnancy test I had finally managed to wee on a few minutes before. Although not edible, I think he was just as happy with the pregnancy test. I had a small nervous turn, wringing my hands and saying ‘goodness me’ (which we currently use as our expletive of choice with a rapidly language-acquiring toddler on our hands). Our first baby had been so well-planned. However, as a friend of mine says, ‘everyone has at least one surprise baby’. Her surprise baby is 14 now and apparently prefers being the surprise baby, rather than the one they tried for, because in her mind her parents only shagged once to get her. This well-intentioned email did nothing for my mental state. My husband, ever the calm and sensible one, told me that it would be ok. And so it has been.

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with our #2 child. #2 is due on #1’s 2nd birthday this year. This feels like such a close gap to me- haven’t I only just done all this?- but according to everyone else it is pretty standard. The pregnancy books all stress informing your previous child as to the coming arrival as being of great importance. So this week we tried filling Charlotte in on the news that she would soon have to share Mum and Dad. Now I think she thinks that she is pregnant- often pointing to her own stomach and saying ‘bubba’. I don’t know what we were expecting with this little exercise, but that wasn’t it.

I have been a bit tired and flat out with work- whilst I fancy myself as a career woman I think that deep down I am not, and I much prefer mucking around with babies. The tiredness and nausea has really caught me this time, and I am becoming slightly useless. This isn’t good for my productivity. One pregnancy symptom though that I am quite pleased to see return has been the sex dreams- I have been waiting for the next instalment of these since my first baby. However for me even the dreams cannot compare to feeling that lovely, busy fluttering from inside- something I dearly miss when I am not pregnant despite having the actual baby in front of me at the time. Nothing about this pregnancy business makes sense at all.