Everybody has a story to tell. From every story we can laugh, cry, empathise, sympathise and even learn something. These pages are about some of our members sharing their journey's of impending parenthood for the first, second or even third times. How they cope with the emotions, the practicalities, the appointments and the other children. We hope you enjoy reading them, and sharing with them the highs and lows of pregnancy and family life. If you would like to become a diarist or share you thoughts with us please email us at info@bubsabouttown.com.au

Meet our new Trying to Conceive Diarist Amber and her husband Ben, they already have one son who is two and after a miscarriage late last year they are ready to 'try again'.

14 weeks Amber's popping out and the public vs private debate

What the????? Whoever told me that nausea stops at 12 weeks was soooo wrong! I mean it did, for about a week, now it’s back with a vengeance, every movement is a lurch and dry heave, I can’t even brush my teeth without gagging, yuk! Not exactly easy to explain to a toddler who wants to know ‘what you doing mummy?’ every time I rush to the toilet... In addition to this it seems that the pregnancy hormones have kicked in and not the lovely glowing skin, silky hair and strong nails hormones but the bitchy, on edge and constantly ready to bite hormones, poor Ben!

But in my defence it is enormously frustrating to have to close the laundry door every time Ben opens it and to have to follow along after him turning lights off in every room he’s just been in, now if that doesn’t sound bad add it to the coming home a half hour before ‘little man’s’ bedtime and deciding it’s a great time to wrestle so it then becomes impossible to get him into bed without contemplating a tranquiliser dart...and that’s for me! On a brighter note we have a definite bump this week as opposed to just a thickening waistline, so this brings me some joy as I finally feel like I look pregnant as well as just feeling pregnant...

If that wasn’t enough to contend with we also have the private VS birth centre issue. We have full health insurance and love the idea of staying in a private room for five nights after baby is born with the well re-known food at NIB also being a huge plus. On the other hand we had ‘little man’ a few months after arriving in Newcastle and we had a fantastic experience at the Birth Centre at the John Hunter, it was such a personal and empowering service and we couldn’t fault it at all...the only downside was the ward stay afterwards and I left after the second awful night of no sleep and screaming babies (mostly mine, but the others didn’t help!) So what to do this time...just because we have the health insurance doesn’t mean we need to use it but the thought of another ward stay is frightening. Ben and I both decide that we will meet with the birth centre midwife and then go from there.

Amazingly we managed to get the same midwife who delivered ‘little man’ and we remembered what a fantastic support she was during the half hour of labour I managed at the hospital before he was born and in the next couple of hours as we got him weighed, measured and all the paperwork filled in. Paula had a very calming presence that day and as soon as we walked into the room this week I felt that same peacefulness. We explained that we were currently also seeing Dr Brown and had yet to decide which way was the best for us for the impending birth. Paula understood that we were feeling apprehensive about the birth as many of our friends had had disastrous second births and more complications than with baby number one and in that respect NIB sounded perfect for both the birth and the recovery process but on the other hand with medical back up in the next room at the John and the possibility of a private room anyway we found ourselves unsure of what to do. Paula was happy to see us until we made up our mind so at least we have another few weeks to think it over before making a final decision.

One thing that was really scary about the appointment was the questions Paula had to run through for the initial consultation and the scariest part about it was the thought that some people do live like this...questions about history of sexual abuse or domestic violence in the family, were we known to docs and whether I have any reason to be scared of Ben? Even knowing that these questions didn’t apply to our family situation I felt sick to think of what must go on out there...not the nicest note to end on, sorry!

Making the announcement...

Big announcement time, apart from close family and a couple of friends we haven’t told anyone about our big news so it’s finally time, now I wouldn’t say I am dramatic...but a little fanfare wouldn’t go astray. But where the hell is everyone? The one week I’m dying to get everyone together not just to save my sanity on a long drawn out afternoon with a hyperactive toddler but for different reasons and everyone is working, having family stay, have appointments or not well. So that means I need to wait to the end of the week to drop the news at our regular picnic at the park. We do this every couple of months and sometimes it s the only chance for the hubbies to get together and catch up so it’s always a great occasion full of food, beers, cricket and kids running wild...

But when the day dawns one friend isn’t able to make it and it turns out *Kate can’t hide her impending news any longer, her tell tale bump is making itself very obvious and with our eagle eyed friends it’s time to let the cat/s out of the bag before the rumours start . It was so exciting to watch our friends faces when hearing her news and even more so when her partner said the magic word ‘twins’. The look on everyone’s faces was priceless and even more so on the men’s faces, it was an instant shock and then relief that it wasn’t them! Typical! I knew this face as Ben had the same look when he heard their news last week and it was on his face when he asked the sonographer “how many heartbeats are we looking at?” But I know that out of our wonderful group I know that no-one is better equipped to deal with twins and I’m not just saying that as *Kate has worked out this is my diary! Everyone agrees that they will do a great job with their two little ones and their little girl will make a fantastic big sister.

So after the bombshell was dropped I decided to wait until all the girls were altogether to announce our impending arrival, but considering my waist has thickened up ridiculously already I definitely saw a few sideways glances that afternoon in my direction but everyone is far too polite to ask!

So it turned out to be another week before I could tell people and even then there were only a few girls there but I couldn’t wait any longer...after the build up though I was hesitant and unsure of how to announce the news.....so when the topic of floorboards came up (quite randomly!) I dropped into conversation that we had decided to put off getting ours laid until closer to when the baby comes so we still have the carpet over winter, it took about 10 seconds before the first squeal of congratulations and from then on it was easy, over the next few days I gradually managed to tell everyone except for one lovely lady whose weekly timetable continued to clash with mine so in the end it was by text that I told her explaining that I had to do it this way or the baby could be born before I got a chance to tell her face to face.

So it’s officially official, after telling friends and sending a big email to family and more friends further away we are now the expectant couple and I still feel like I have nothing to show for it except a couple of extra kilos (yes already, ridiculous!) and some lingering morning sickness. Ok so roll on the next step, the end of the nausea and those amazing first flutters.

Baby and Kids Market and 12 Week Scan

Well the most exciting thing happened this week, which was great as life was looking pretty dull apart from full time nausea and a horrifying expanding waistline (yes already!!!) I went along to the baby and kids market this week and was very excited to have a chance to have a ‘toddler free’ catch up with a couple of friends as well as browse around at what the markets have to offer, which is always well worthwhile! Running late as usual I slipped to the front of the line (sorry ladies!!!) to where my two friends were waiting for me with a nice hot chocolate (mmmm) and after a quick chat we were in, I was on the lookout for big items this time, a bassinet, feeding chair, anything that was easy to spot and quick to go so making a quick “off to check out the feeding chairs” comment I dashed off, but I hadn’t gone more than two steps when I realised my mistake, I had been specific rather than general about what I was looking at but surely it wasn’t noticed.....

I had only got halfway up the big item aisle when a friend caught up to me asking slyly “Is there any reason you are looking for a feeding chair???” The cat was out of the bag... but I was completely shocked to hear that not only was she also suffering from morning sickness but she had enough for two! Twins!!!! I was completely blown away, I had only been admiring her tiny tummy the day before at a birthday party (I later found out she had held her tummy in all morning and was very sore as a result later on!), a second look confirmed it, there on her tiny frame was a gorgeous little belly, it turned out that at 8 weeks her little ones were already making themselves well known and after much jumping up and down and squealing we soon attracted the attention of our third friend who although knew about me was completely shocked to find out about *Kate’s exciting news, so there we were the three of us jumping up and down in the middle of the baby and kids market (you may have noticed us??).

The news completely made my week and I was on such a high that the next few days before our 12 week scan just flew by! With little man at daycare and me on holiday we turned up at Dr Raymond’s with me sculling water all the way, in our morning rush to get little man off I had completely forgotten about drinking water! We were slightly early so we popped around to the coffee shop in Lambton to get Ben his morning caffeine fix but I was far too nervous to get anything and so we wandered back ready to take a seat and begin the wait. I had forgotten how efficient they were there though and we were ushered straight in.
At this stage I will have to mention the nerves, I know everyone has these nerves at the 12 week scan and I should be better than most as I had already had a scan at about 6 weeks to make sure we definitely were pregnant but that didn’t stop me wondering whether I was imagining the whole experience and maybe the morning sickness was all in my mind.

It didn’t take the sonographer long to get an image though, our little baby was suddenly on the screen, a huge relief washed over us and we started to relax....until it was time for the nuchal translucency part of the scan, the sonographer was very reassuring and assured us that all looked great, we also got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the second time and were so excited to hear the little thump thump, surely one of the most exciting noises someone can hear. Seeing Dr Raymond confirmed that all was well and our risk levels for any chromosomal problems were minimal and that was that, what a great week!


Meeting the Obstetrician and Big Boy Bed Buying

So the time has arrived and we are off to meet our obstetrician, armed with many great referrals from friends we were eagerly awaiting meeting Dr Brown. We were already 4 months pregnant when we arrived in Australia with our son so opted to go through the birth centre at the John Hunter Hospital; we had a fantastic antenatal, birth and post natal experience with little man and couldn’t have asked for anything better except perhaps for a private room. This time we are armed with full health insurance cover and decide to give the private route a try. Having had friends on both sides it’s hard to know what is the best choice but you never know till you try so off we went.

We met with Dr Brown’s midwife first (who we now realise is his wife), where all details were gathered before meeting Dr Brown himself. Instantly reassuring and calming we felt completely at ease straight away as we discussed our first birth and the very few issues that came with it with him and before we knew it I was up on the bed and we heard our babies heartbeat for the first time, even little man stood still as he heard the sound fill the room, it was such a special moment and we had prepared little man by telling him he would hear the baby ‘talking’ today and it was amazing to hear his thoughts afterward. When we asked him what he heard he said the baby was saying “hello Flynn, hello Flynn, hello Flynn” – we loved this interpretation!

All went well with the appointment and we were sure we had found the doctor for us; now hopefully big boy bed buying would be just as successful. Little man has been in a converted cot bed for a while now but we decided the sooner we got him into a big boy bed and move the cot out the better so we start the hunt and only five shops in we find the perfect bed and after some discussion we go for a king size bed with trundle and drawers for storage all built in, all in the lovely shade of white, so much easier to match furniture! Ben does the deal and we hope that this is the last bed we have to buy until little man leaves home, we may be slightly delusional on this point but we can hope for the best. With delivery set for next week we can tick another job off the list.

On a green note the nausea has gotten much worse....roll on 12 weeks...I’m sure that’s when it started to get better with little man so we are counting down, the only thing that seems to help is, ironically, food!

Next week we are off to the baby and kids market and will be on the lookout for some good bargains....

To Tell or Not to Tell...

Ok, we are just over eight weeks now and although cautious we are naturally starting to get excited about reaching the ‘safe mark’ in a few weeks....maybe I’m jumping the gun but as I keep reminding Ben, we need to be positive that this one will work out, there is no reason to think otherwise so we should enjoy these early weeks (not so much the nausea from 6am to 11pm) but everything else.....which ok, isn’t much. I mean apart from the nausea there is nothing else to show that I’m pregnant and this is frustrating when I want to shout it from the rooftops.

It’s after explaining this to Ben that we discuss ‘telling a few very important people’, aside from a close friend no-one knows, not even family but I think we should start telling as feelings may be hurt if we don’t soon. But before we can do it that lovely new friend of mine (nausea) makes working while a lovely shade of green impossible to explain week after week and the first person I end up telling is my boss who is absolutely lovely but probably quite worried considering I work with children all day and my job involves having boundless energy and basically jumping around like a energiser bunny the whole day. The thought of work makes me feel sick the minute I wake up but I find once I’m there (the 15 minute drive is not pretty) and the kids start coming in the door it’s easier to have a distraction and my smile is pasted on ready to start work for the day and anyway it’s only two days a week surely I can cope?!? I will keep you updated on how this goes in the coming weeks...

The next person I tell is my mum over Skype, her final comment before hanging up being, “any other news darling?” to which I respond that “I think I may throw up” and that took care of telling her! My wonderful friend who although living too many miles apart the last six years, is still the person I can talk to about anything is over the moon as I will only be four months behind her and her baby number two (our first were both boys born four days apart, uncanny!)

We tell my in-laws that weekend when they pop up from Sydney to babysit so we can go to a wedding and they too are very excited for us, not knowing about the big ‘M’ it will be hard for them to appreciate how much of a mixed bag of emotions we have about the pregnancy but no need to go into all of that, their excitement after a tough year for the family is fantastic.

Now if a hen’s night without a few vinos and cocktails sounds hard, picture a beautiful wedding with gorgeous smelling champagne and people celebrating all around you and you daintily sipping on orange juice and trying not to touch your belly all night...not easy but a still a fun night filled with laughs and even a few dances, Ben still has moves.....not always in time but hey they are there after all, who knew? It’s been so long.




The Hens Night Dilemma...

Off to get my second blood tests done today and can’t help but feel more positive than last week, I have been feeling quite nauseas and very tired, we have also just passed the point where we miscarried last time. The blood test itself is simple enough and now the wait is on for the results. I have another dilemma now, I have been invited to a hens night for a new but already dear friend in Sydney, now I would usually be ecstatic about this as it’s a chance to catch up with another friend who I worked with overseas and have been unsuccessfully trying to have a good night out with (not quite reminiscent of our old nights out, we couldn’t get away with that at our age....I don’t think anyway). Timing just hasn’t been on our side, since we both returned from London one of us has been pregnant or breastfeeding for over two and a half years and now we are both finally (supposed to be) child and breastfeeding free. I decide to head on down and try to take it easy and see if I can get by with no questions and/or comments about being old and lame for not shooting cocktails with the bride to be.

We have a great apartment in Manly for the night and it takes about a half hour before my gorgeous friend works out that I am pregnant, apparently not diving for the wine as soon as it’s open is the clear sign. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, especially so early and on a special night for a friend we agree to keep it quiet and she will run interference for me as much as possible. This works quite well, a pole dancing class (lets skip over that!) and then off for dinner and drinks at an upstairs bar in Manly where the roof opens so we are having a great night under the stars, unfortunately the atmosphere is a bit lost on me, while this would have been something I would have loved I feel more like the sober older lady who just wants to go to bed and so I’m back at the apartment in bed by 11pm! The hen and friends carried on until the early hours and the next day I am easily feeling the best out of all 5 girls staying together, and I’m suffering pretty severe morning sickness! Early the next week we get the second blood results and are happy to find they have increased by a few thousand, right on track with our stage...

Getting very excited now but trying to play it cool and not let on to Ben who is still very cautious and probably will be well after our 12 weeks scan....

Previous Diary Entries Below

Appointments galore...doctor, bloods, scan...

After a very long week it’s time to see the doctor and unfortunately our appointment is with the same doctor as last time that didn’t ring us with the HCG results before we lost the baby, not that it’s her fault but I think it’s normal to blame someone else, I mean if we had of had the results a few hours before it all went wrong we may have had some warning and not have been so shocked when it started...or maybe not but it’s easy to think this after the fact.

So after only a 45 minute wait I’m in, the doctor listens and seems empathetic and is happy to give me a referral to Dr Raymond’s for a dating scan, it’s not like we don’t know the timing but we really feel that we need to see if something is there this time. So armed with a referral for the scan and two lots of blood tests requests a week apart I am off to the pathology lab to get the bloods taken straight away, on the walk down I ring and manage to get an appointment for only two days away for the scan.

Is it normal for Ben and I not to discuss the pregnancy at all? For Ben I am assuming he is trying to limit the damage if something goes wrong by not making plans and not discussing what may be with me, I’m just trying to get through the next couple of days until the scan without thinking the worst.

After dropping ‘little man’ off at our very understanding friends’ house and concocting a story about seeing our accountant to some other friends who have bought their toddlers over for a play date we are off. Drinking plenty of water and feeling that bursting feeling brings it all back and sitting in the waiting room it’s hard not to get a little excited that we may be about to see our baby for the first time. With Ben gripping my hand and the warm gel on my belly ready to go we glance at the screen and the very lovely sonographer points out a tiny dot with a flickering heartbeat. From this moment on our baby is nicknamed ‘dot’. She confirms we are about 6 weeks along and all is looking well, from what they can tell anyway. We pick up our little man with a little more hope in our hearts and dot sized excitement. To top it all off we get our first HCG level results back and they are good, the next hurdle is the following bloods next week where we will hopefully see a huge rise in the levels consistent with a baby growing.....stay tuned!

Should I or shouldn’t I, do I want to know this early again

My period is due....and nothing.....so what now....we didn’t want to find out so early again and have the same disappointment in a few days/week etc.....so after a quick discussion, in which I thought Ben was entirely too casual and quick to agree that we should wait.....and so after a quick internal debate I waited until he went to work and did a test....

Now I was expecting one of two emotions:

First: crushing despair closely followed by the ‘oh well we didn’t expect it to happen this quick again anyway’ counter emotion,

OR

Second: complete elation closely followed by the ‘but these things can go wrong, no need to get excited too soon’ emotion.

So what would it be?

Well it was the second, complete elation followed by the cynical ‘things can go wrong, can I go through that again?’ emotion. The test showed up with a pale pink line, so pale I thought maybe it was a false positive; I decided to not tell Ben and leave it a few more days and do another one.

So that’s what I did, and again a pale pink line, now call me crazy but I saved the first test so that I could compare the lines and see if they were getting darker as time went on, they appeared to be but we were still only at nearly 5 weeks (if my calculations were correct).
Now I still hadn’t told Ben and he hadn’t asked so I didn’t feel like I was technically lying to him, ok a huge technicality but I was comfortable with it, no sense in us both being stressed and running to the loo every 5 minutes.

A week later and I did the third and final test and this time I told Ben...he was cautiously excited as was I and together we decided that apart from a very close friend who had been asking me every few days about our progress and couldn’t be lied to we weren’t going to tell anyone and we wouldn’t get excited until after the doctor’s appointment the following week and we had some blood tests to show HCG levels.

So an anxious week ahead......


Friends about to burst!!! Lots of lovely babies everywhere!!!

OK, I’m still doing well; I haven’t caved yet and taken a test as it’s far too early and I don’t want to get my hopes up OR dashed quite this early yet.

So apart from my inner struggle with my self control, life goes on around me as usual. I have three fabulous friends about to burst with their second babies and as they get bigger and closer to their due dates there have been conversations regarding adjusting to the lack of sleep and shock to the system of late night feeds and lack of personal time. I love how all conversations are said while rubbing or patting their bellies longingly, what is it about women that make us so ready for all the disruption a newborn baby brings. Thinking back to when ‘little man’ was just a few days old, all it took was a grasp on my finger or a whimper at night to make me jump and be instantly ready to cater to all of his needs, that maternal instinct sure is strong!

While chatting with Ben the other night and consciously NOT talking about our own situation we get a text that there is now a new addition to our mother’s group and all has gone well which leaves two heavily pregnant women and two more in the early stages of the first trimester.....there are literally bumps and babies everywhere!!!! This leaves only myself and two others that are (well not to my knowledge anyway....) not currently in the family way with number two and although my competitive spirit is just there under the surface I remind myself that there is no harm in being the last one to get pregnant.....I mean it’s not a race, there is no last place in conceiving....right???

Wow, am I glad this is anonymous!


Week 15 & 16 Poor Husband

Right, we are all settled in after our break away and the circled date on the calendar is getting closer and closer, now here my paranoia starts to seep in, maybe I ovulate earlier or later in the month than I think, in this case we should start now, also have decided that we are only having two children so the next one is the last, ideally one of each would be perfect but not essential. After our last try we are both just very keen for a healthy little baby regardless of the sex, it doesn’t stop us (ok...me) looking online for the typical ‘old wives tales’ about how to conceive a girl and Ben and I laughingly discuss these after ‘little man’ is in bed at night and then decide we may as well give some of the more realistic ones a try. I mean nothing is going to get me to eat liver.......Yuk!

So the trying begins and not willing to stick to the ‘sperm lives inside a human body for three days’ idea we (ok....me again) decide to try every day so vitamins are stocked up on and high energy foods are stored close by.  Here I start to feel a little sympathy for Ben, I know its overkill to try everyday and I’m probably pinning too many hopes of conceiving the first try again but I can’t help it.

The following week with a (maybe relieved and definitely exhausted) sigh Ben packs his bag to head away for a few days for work and I dutifully get on with everyday life trying very carefully not to think about what may be, easier said than done. With every slight change in my body I am already imagining (yes I’m fairly certain I am imagining this) that I am pregnant.

Ben and I discussed before he went away that we would not do any pregnancy tests so early on again, we would wait until well after my period is due before we even head to the pharmacy. However, a well meaning friend packs up to move back to the UK and passes on a box full of things that won’t make the trip.....including a box with two remaining pregnancy tests in it, obviously not needed as she is now 5 months pregnant.....so I give it to Ben before he goes away and he puts it somewhere safe where I won’t find it. Now like the time he hid my Christmas present under my own bed he hid the box in his bedside drawer where I pop all the work papers I find lying around the house.

But four days later Ben gets home and the box is undisturbed, the compulsive in me was tempted to buy another box and replace any I may use as needed so that Ben wouldn’t know the difference but it turns out I have more strength than I thought and these impulses are not acted on. But I do wonder how long this new strength will last...

Week 13 & 14: Visiting Family

Early January and it’s time to pack the suitcases and board the plane home to visit the family, this time I wasn’t looking forward to it, not only would I be faced with endless “is that a baby bump I see” to which I will smilingly reply “no its just Christmas chocolate but thanks!” Ben also can’t come, he claims work is just too busy but I think more likely it is the thought of 10 days with my family with countless family get-togethers planned and a three hour plane ride each way with a restless toddler that is putting him off, in fact the more I think about it the more I wish I could swap places and go to work for him and he can spend 10 days with my family.

9 days later.........

Ok I have survived, one more sleep until we head home and the holiday was not as bad as expected, ‘little man’ behaved beautifully...mostly... and I got to catch up with some fantastic and much missed friends as well as spend some lovely time with the family. But as Ben always jokes, I look forward to going home more than I look forward to going away, he is so right, when we were travelling overseas I would always pack my bag counting down the days until we would be unpacking and doing the inevitable 4 loads of laundry in our laundry/kitchen.

This time though, there is another reason I’m excited about going home, two months is nearly up, the vaccination should have cleared my system so we are all systems go again...nerve-wracking!

Once home we have ‘the discussion’ and it seems Ben is just as nervous about trying again as me but for different reasons, he is so scared that I won’t cope with another disappointment and it’s nice to talk about it honestly as I also don’t think I could go through it again, admitting if it happened again that would be it, I would be happy for ‘little man’ to be an only child. Who knows if that would be the case but good to air out how we are both feeling about trying again.

Next week it starts again.........


Christmas and New Year

What a strange Christmas it was, we are not strangers to having Christmas without family, we did this three times in London either having big Christmas’s with friends or escaping to somewhere Wintry and wonderful like Austria to hit the Christmas markets so why did it feel so strange having to plan a Christmas with no family???? Maybe it’s Little Man who has changed our perspective of Christmas, perhaps it was knowing that far away my family were meeting for a champagne breakfast with the traditional Christmas brekkie spread, noise, chaos and fun with kids ripping presents open and everyone talking at the same time.

We did our best, the champagne was chilled the night before, the croissants bought and duly cooked the next day, presents were ripped open, it was lovely, but perhaps just too quiet... or maybe just the start of a new family tradition. We popped to friends later for a couple of drinks before a group of friends came to ours for a slap up Christmas dinner, that was perfect.....bruschetta, sausages, salad and potato skewers, just the simple delicious meal we needed to top off our day, the kids had fun and the adults could just relax.

The New Year followed just as quietly, off to the Lake for a picnic with friends, the children danced and sang along to themselves and the parents were all exhausted from the festive season and in another new tradition we were home by 8 and in bed by 10.30. How life changes!

Two Baby showers in one week

So while I wait for ‘Aunty Flo’ to arrive and the next round of trying to begin I will simply walk around with my blinkers on and although it means I can’t completely block out all baby bellies out there I will do my best to not see green when I do! I mean there is nothing more amazing than a pregnant woman who can’t help but be slightly envious.

Now I don’t feel like I can finish this week’s entry without a comment on my previous mentioned term ‘Aunty Flo’, was that just my family’s term for ...sssshhhh..... period..... or is it a common one? And why can’t we just use the word period?

Anyway while I am waiting for my period (wow I did it! I used the p word) I will calmly repeat to myself “I will do my best to not be envious of other pregnant woman and I will feel happy for other people”.


Can I think of anything else?

Ok, I promised myself (and my hubby) that when we were trying to get pregnant again I wouldn’t completely obsess over it like I did last time, and in my defence I did think I would be far too occupied by my gorgeous wee boy to think about it. Turns out that old saying “women can multi-task” turns out to be true and not just in the way we already knew, the ability to fold washing, cook dinner, play farms, unload the dishwasher and write a shopping list all at the same time. I mean in a completely new way....it seems like my mind has been split in half and while one half of it focuses on the normal day to day thoughts and activities the other is constantly planning, calculating and....lets be honest....obsessing about getting pregnant.

Not good news considering we have only been trying a week and it turns out (thanks to my calculations) that it was the wrong time to try anyway! Oh well there is always next month.



Making the Decision...

After a huge upheaval of a year my husband and I sat down and talked through ‘baby number 2’. Yep that’s right, that’s the sort of people we are, we’re planners, we are the type of people who map out the next year and work towards it, sometimes it would be nice to be spontaneous but the thought of that makes me feel slightly anxious. 

Up until now we have lived our lives to our plan never deviating very far from it, we already have a son who is a few months off turning two and although that may seem boring to some we have had a fantastic life so far with the normal hiccups along the way and it’s time to see what 2010 has to bring.

So the decision is made, what happens next?